Question: I'm marrying a man who is going to convert to Islam after so much study, yet he says: "I have studied not more than 5% of Islam." I belong to a noble and respectful religious family which can guide him, but he insists me to live with his family who are Christians. He wants me to guide them so that they can be converted, with me being kind to them. What is my responsibility here?
Living with parents in-law is an issue distinct from helping people to convert to Islam. It is about private life and marriage. Women have the right to choose the place they shall live according to the means of their husband. Please see the following fatwas about this issue:
http://www.islamandquran.org/research/subsistence-money-of-women.html
http://www.islamandquran.org/fatwas/living-in-the-same-house-with-parents-in-law.html
If you are personally eager to live with your parents in law, it is totally lawful. Yet, you should remember that it is not you but God Who guides people to the straight path. You are responsible for communicating God’s verses to them both verbally and through your attitude. If they really have the intention to be guided rightly, God would let them find the right path:
“It is not your duty to guide them to a right path, but it is God Who guides the ones who make the right choices to a right path.” (al-Baqarah 2:272)
You do not have to be living in the same house as your parents in-law to show your kindness to them. Living in a separate house while visiting and/or inviting them to your house frequently may sometimes let you behave even more tolerantly and gently to them. Your kind behavior can really help them to convert to Islam if they are impressed by your attitude. Whoever wants to improve himself/herself, God would allow them and they would.
We know by the Qur’an that the opposite is also valid:
“It is not your concern if he will not improve himself!” (Abasa 80:7)
You must be the best example you can be, but if they do not have the inner willingness to find the right path, then there would be nothing you could do for them. You might even hear unpleasent words from them, which you should be ready by now:
“You will surely be put to a hard test in the matters of your possessions and lives. You will hear much abuse from those who were given the Book before you and those who place others between themselves and God. If you keep patient by protecting yourselves, do know that this is a matter of strong determination.” (al-E Imran 3:186)
Therefore, we recommend that you do not make your decision corresponding to two people only, but in a way which shall make your life better for yourself and your husband; thus presenting a wonderful example for all Muslims and non-Muslims around you. That way, you can help more people to find the right path than you think you can, inshaAllah.
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